How to tell if your spouse is secretly in the mafia red flags

It’s not popular to work in the Mafia like it was in the 80’s and 90’s so employees may not want people to know their real line of work (as shown in the Sopranos with neighbors).  In case you are suspicious here’s reg flags that might indicate your spouse works for the mob:

• Frequent day trips to Florida with no stated reason
• Comes home late at night with blood stains on shoes
• When you forget to get onions from the store, he grabs you by the neck and says “Why I outta…”
• You notice over time he starts to develop a Jersey accent, even though you live in California
• He refuses to use cards of any kind, insisting there is a government conspiracy, and only uses cash and Bitcoin
• When you’re watching the local news they talk about a big heist that was busted by the FBI in a town near you, he immediately gets on the phone and tells you he needs to go urgently
• Often he brings gifts in many quantities, such as 20 of the same watch
• You notice over time he uses more and more italian expressions instead of expressing himself like “Capiche?”
• Although you’ve asked many times, he refuses to introduce you to any of his co workers or say anything about them other than “Frankie has lots of pets”
• You notice a tattoo that says “The Chiropractor” and you ask him about it.  He says it’s his nickname, because “I’ll break your friggin neck!”
• One year was slow and you didn’t have money to pay bills.  He tells you to buy a lottery ticket and gives you the numbers to play – and they win!
• One day you come home to find the Governor of your state hog tied in your bedroom closet.  He tells you he’s playing a game of capture the flag.
• He starts to scan for bugs in the house, and insists the government is spying on people
• Before he starts his car, he always uses an under car mirror to check for bombs
• Sometimes a big guy in a suit will sit in a chair outside the house all night long.  He tells you it’s his brother’s cousin and he has no where else to go.
• You get pulled over for speeding while driving together.  He demands the officer let him out of the car.  He whispers something to the officer you can’t hear what they say.  After that, the officer pulls in front of your car with lights on escorts you to your destination.

Of course, these are just red flags – it’s very plausible someone could have such behavior and have a completely legitimate explanation for each of them!